Threshing machine

Now I knew a farmer and I knew him well And I knew his daughter and her name was Nell Although she was only a lass of sixteen I showed her the works of my threshing machine

Chorus: Threshing machine, threshing machine I showed her the works of my threshing machine (substitute last line of verse each time)

We went to a barn with its doors open wide And lay on a haystack side by side She worked the throttle and I worked the steam And together we worked on my threshing machine

Six months later and all is not well Something's the matter with our dear Nell Under her pinny can plainly be seen The fatal results of my threshing machine

Nine months later and all is not well A baby's been born to our little Nell And under its nappy can plainly be seen A brand new two-cylinder threshing machine

The moral of this story is easy to tell If a job's worth doing it's worth doing well If you go a'courting a lass of sixteen Throw a tarpaulin over your threshing machine

Many thanks to Ex-Chairman Nelms for introducing many members to this song and for its many drunken renditions